Aging like fine cheese with Brenda Anderson

Brenda Anderson:
Just some of the questions, as I'm, like I said, I'm older now, and I lost my vision when I was eight, but some of the questions I've been asked over these 48 years, I literally stand there and shake my head and say, "Did you really just ask me that question?" I get the infamous, "Are you really blind?" And my God, I said, "No, I do it for the dog."

Jennie Bovard:
Welcome, welcome. This is Low Vision Moments, it's the podcast all about those sometimes frustrating, potentially embarrassing, but often pretty comical things that happen when you are just going about your day with a visual impairment, blindness, or in my case, albinism. I'm Jenny Bovard, surprise, yes, I'm still the host, and this is episode number 35.
As we get older, we pick up new skills and knowledge along the way. We talk about growth and growing as people a lot on this podcast. And sometimes, I have to say that almost immediately I can tell when I'm in the presence of someone who is wise, or at least more wise than I am. And yes, yes, my friends, I am talking about today's guest, who I cannot wait to get to know better. They are a fellow Nova Scotian and she's one hell of a storyteller. Brenda Anderson, thanks so much for coming on Low Vision Moments.

Brenda Anderson:
Thank you for having me, Jennie.

Jennie Bovard:
What else do you want the people to know about you?

Brenda Anderson:
I live each day as if it's my last day. I'm happy, I'm joyous and I'm having a good time.

Jennie Bovard:
I love that answer. We are all about having a good time on this podcast. It is something I put a lot of importance on in life. I want to tell the people that you're a grandmother as well, which I think is super cool. You're one of only, I think, a couple of grandmas we've had on the podcast.

Brenda Anderson:
It is absolutely phenomenal. I have a beautiful four-year-old granddaughter. She is sharp and she is keeping me sharp and on my toes at all times.

Jennie Bovard:
I love it, I love it. Another thing that I think we have in common is we're both into fitness and getting active, to not only keep our bodies healthy but the mental side of things healthy as well. We've crossed paths a few times along the way, and that's how I got to know that, hey, this person is a wise person and this person who you, I've not spent a lot of time with you, Brenda, just mostly getting ready for the podcast, but you and I were at a mental health first aid course together. What else did we do? Do you remember doing the Stair Heroes fundraiser?

Brenda Anderson:
I did the Stair Heroes fundraiser. You've also been out, I believe, and participated in some of the runs I may have been on, whether it's the Blue Nose Run, whether I can't quite think of the name of the run we used to have here on Eastern Passage in September every year.

Jennie Bovard:
The Maritime Race weekend where you get to pick your pirate name, Brenda.

Brenda Anderson:
You have been out on that run on more than one occasion, so have I, and as mentioned, we've both done Stair Heroes, different episodes like that and we've crossed paths with Blind Sports Nova Scotia and a few different occasions.

Jennie Bovard:
That's right. And again, I'm just so happy to be in your presence because I have to say in those few interactions crossing paths and just getting to know you a little bit before coming together for the podcast today, I in a lot of ways feel like I'm looking and talking to myself in the future and I mean that as a big compliment and-

Brenda Anderson:
Thank you.

Jennie Bovard:
I really do. I really do, Brenda, so I hope today we can talk a little bit about getting older and being a grandmother. And for me, I will have to say I might be giving myself a bit of a pat on the back here. I tend to do that a lot on the podcast, but you got to give yourself credit where credit's due. I think that I'm aging like a fine cheese, I think many of us are and we need to acknowledge that. What do you think?

Brenda Anderson:
That is correct. We have to continue to be very blessed that we're still here to be able to age. A lot of people did not make those numbers. So far so good. We have, so should be very blessed. Number one that we're still here aging it's number. It's a number, it's what you do with it.

Jennie Bovard:
That's right. And I think you might agree that you've got to work with what you've got, right? Something I tell myself nearly daily looking in the mirror in the morning, what little I can see in the mirror every morning, but a fine cheese. I am again aging nicely. I would like to think I'm probably the most fit I've ever been, the most self-aware I've ever been. I'm approaching my forties, I'm almost there, but also a fine cheese, I'm realizing I'm getting a little fuzzy and I do mean a little hairy, a little furry and I'll elaborate so that it makes more sense. I've always been kind of a hairy person. My family would lovingly point out that I had white furry arms and it was cute. I mostly grew into it thankfully.
But as I get older I notice more and more of these hairs and I'm like, are they new or did I just never notice this before and it's been there the whole time dangling off my chin or jutting out from my eyebrow. Have they always been there and I just never knew and no one told me or are they new? I don't know. Maybe it's part of aging. But recently, I say recently it's been a few years, Brenda, I have a funny story on how I figured out that I have nose hair now. We have nose hair, right? Like everyone's got nose hair. It helps filter the air coming into our head and into our lungs. I know they exist. I learned this in health class of course, but it never crossed my mind that I had nose hair that other people might be able to see. And I only really thought about this when, you know the sport of goalball. I'm sure you're familiar.

Brenda Anderson:
Yes, I am.

Jennie Bovard:
I was in a competition one time and in the sport of goalball, before we begin play, the referees have to come and check our eye shades so that they can confirm you cannot see through them, for those of us that have some vision that are playing, so it's all fair. And so they check over your eye shades to make sure everything is legit.
So after they do this, you put them on your face and then they have you look up and down. The referee examines you while you look up and down to make sure there are no gaps. So you can't see through these eye shades. The point is that nobody can see anything when we're playing goalball. Well, I learned from this very kind referee that I have nose hair. I looked up and she said, you don't need to look up that far. I do not need to see your nose hair. I know it might seem harsh, and if I'm being honest, this person has a bit of a reputation for telling it like it is, but I am so grateful Brenda for that person. I'm so grateful that she told me.

Brenda Anderson:
Jenny, I have a similar story. I have never known, having lost my vision at age eight, I have never known what crow's feet were until I, after being divorced for a number of years, went out on a date and the gentleman I was dating for a very short time upon the first date informed me that I had crow's feet. So the next time I saw my hairdresser, I asked her to explain it to me and she wanted to know where she could find him to straighten him out, to inform him that they are sparrow feet, not crow feet.

Jennie Bovard:
Oh, sparrow feet, that has a much nicer ring.

Brenda Anderson:
So again, I don't see these in my face. I cannot see them. So I had no idea what they were.

Jennie Bovard:
My goodness. First of all, that's not a first date thing. That's not a thing, no.

Brenda Anderson:
You wouldn't think. It's not a first impression you want to remember.

Jennie Bovard:
Well, no, but I will say again, I'm thankful that someone told me about the nose hair. It got me thinking like, are other people this hairy? Can other people see my nose hair? I became more conscious of it and not that it's important, not that it's important by any means, but I think there's a time and a place to say, Hey, your eyebrows are trying to meet in the middle. Maybe just wanted to make you aware so you can make an informed decision about that. That's not a first date thing.

Brenda Anderson:
I think it was the last date thing to be honest with you.

Jennie Bovard:
Yeah, that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense.

Brenda Anderson:
First and last, all combined in one.

Jennie Bovard:
I ask myself a lot of these questions as I get older, do other people have these chin hairs and cheek hairs that I find myself plucking out because I can't see their faces? I don't know. And it's almost like who do you ask about this stuff as well, right? I'm not sure who to ask

Brenda Anderson:
That is correct. Whether you ask your best friend, your sister, your mom, your daughter, your husband.

Jennie Bovard:
My poor husband tends to get most of the questions.

Brenda Anderson:
Right. And with me it's my dog.

Jennie Bovard:
You ask your dog?

Brenda Anderson:
The good part is she never responds.

Jennie Bovard:
Yes, that's possibly the best advice in some situations. But another, we talked about going to the gym and being fit. I know that you are one of your happy places is the gym. We talked about that before.

Brenda Anderson:
Probably one of my happiest places. I have a few others, but certainly my gym is very important to me, physically, mentally, socially, great supportive, I call them family because I actually see these folks more than my biological family. So it's a fantastic location. Like I said, there's so much you can do there. You can actually become physically fit, but it's a great place to become mentally well.

Jennie Bovard:
I couldn't agree more on just getting active having a hugely positive impact on being Well mentally. If I don't get my workouts and I am a lot less pleasant to be around and I don't have quite the community aspect at the gym I go to, I think I go to a more, I don't know how to explain it. It is a good life, right? So it's a big gym. It's one of the biggest ones in Halifax. I don't know if I'm crossing paths with the same people when I go or not. I don't really interact with a whole lot of people. Sure I'm friendly, but I've noticed again, and this comes back to some of the questions I ask myself as I get older and as I go to my comfort zone and do these things like go to the gym, which I didn't do until my mid-twenties or so. I ask myself things like, do other people sweat this much? I am the reason they have those instructions for you to wipe down the machine when you're done. I am the reason.

Brenda Anderson:
I asked the owner of my gym, Devin Sharonton at 360 Fit, I asked him many years ago, if people sweat as bad as I do.

Jennie Bovard:
Do you have someone to ask?

Brenda Anderson:
He's the owner. I have a very good relationship with Devin and I come straight out and asked him, am I the only one who sweats in here? I would hear these girls in the change room talking about their mascara was running. I would never contemplate wearing a mascara to the gym. It would be down on my ankles. I sweat. And he said, perhaps it's because of our Scottish heritage. I'm not sure, but reality is-

Jennie Bovard:
Is that a thing?

Brenda Anderson:
If I'm not sweating, I'm not working hard enough.

Jennie Bovard:
That's how I feel about it. When I go to the gym, I leave it all over the place. I have to wipe down the front of the treadmill, literally. I'm not even joking, but I do it to be courteous because I know I'm sweating all over the place and I also wonder, I'm often in a long row of treadmills when I go and do my speed work at the gym on the treadmill and there's very rarely anyone on either side of me. I think they're avoiding me so they don't get splish splashed.

Brenda Anderson:
That is certainly a possibility,

Jennie Bovard:
But I have no shame about that. I don't care, like you, I don't wear mascara to the gym. The hair is up. It's not about looking good. When I leave that place, my clothes are soaked through and I'm, it's more of a curiosity thing. Are other people looking at me and thinking that I have a medical condition because I sweat so much or are there people sweating? I don't know. But it's not important either way, honestly.

Brenda Anderson:
No. For me, if I can get into the gym and do my workout, so number one, I am feeling better about myself and for me that's what matters. Perhaps because I'm getting older, I'm to the point now, I'm not overly concerned about what our other people think of me. They know that I'm in the gym, they see me working out. I'm sure some of them actually believe I live there because of the amount of time I am normally, now, this week and last week it was a little bit of an exception because I had too much going on, but you can find me in there four days a week and like I said, as long as I leave there and I feel better about myself when I'm leaving, I've accomplished why I went.
I've done some physical activity. By doing the physical activity. It's working on my mental wellbeing and at my age, that's what's important to me is the physical wellbeing, the mental wellbeing. I said because if you don't have either of those, you don't have much. And I mean like you, I've been visually impaired for a lot of years and we've gone through a lot of ups and downs and some happy stuff and some not-so-happy stuff. So I said, it's time to sit back. And for years I was told, you have to look after yourself first. It took a long time for me to realize that, but once I did, yes, I look after me first and then I'm better for everybody else.

Jennie Bovard:
See, I knew you were a wise individual. I just knew it. I have to pat myself on the back again here because I just knew it and I knew that we would align on that as well. What other life experiences, as you said you've been visually impaired almost your entire life. What are some of the life experiences that have brought you to this place of wisdom?

Brenda Anderson:
As mentioned, I've been visually impaired for the past 48 years. Once I left home for university, I either had to learn to swim or sink. I chose to swim in more ways than one. I come up against some difficult experiences because I use a service dog to keep safely independent travelling. Sometimes they're funny experiences. If I can share one, at the beginning of Covid, when we were told not to go by anybody, to keep our distances when walking, and on an early Sunday morning as I was out walking my dog at about 6:30 AM I thought I could see a figure coming towards me. So I ducked into a driveway, being respectful, couldn't understand why that person had stopped.
I wanted them to keep going. When I figured out they weren't going to move, I started walking only to find out that person was a large green compost bin that had not been pulled in off the street. So as I'm muttering to myself as why aren't you moving? I'm talking to a compost bin, fortunately, who is not talking back to me. So again, you shake your hand thinking, are you foolish? You just try to talk to an innate object, keep going. Like I said, there's good and bad Jennie, I mean you get on the bus with your service dog and the driver asks you if it's yours. No, I stole it from the blind guy, he didn't see it coming. Come on. Who is walking around with somebody else's seeing eye dog?

Jennie Bovard:
How is that a question? How i that even a question that they, I couldn't even fathom?

Brenda Anderson:
Straight up and asked if it was mine. I'm thinking, well, what I wanted to say was I stole it from the blind guy. I didn't want to be reported to the police, so I kept it short.

Jennie Bovard:
Well, no, and you might need to take that bus again. I get that.

Brenda Anderson:
Correct.

Jennie Bovard:
I don't know if I would be able to help myself from saying whose else could it, whose else could it be? Wow.

Brenda Anderson:
I mean, when I'm looking at money sometimes trying to figure out is that a five or a 10? Because with colour blindness, I'm not able to detect it. Only for people to ask me if I'm sniffing it. There's no filters, Jenny. They don't think before they speak. They don't.

Jennie Bovard:
You should say yes and tell them it's scratch and sniff and then have them do it and then you just sit back and laugh.

Brenda Anderson:
It's just some of the comments.

Jennie Bovard:
I hope you don't get asked that again, but if you do, please have them scratch and sniff it, Brenda.

Brenda Anderson:
Just some of the questions as I'm, like I said, I'm older now. I lost my vision when I was eight, but some of the questions I've been asked over these 48 years, I'd literally stand there and shake my head and say, did you really just ask me that question? Like I get the infamous, "Are you really blind?" And help my God? I said, "No, I do it for the dog." Or you get the "Well, you don't look blind." Jennie, I didn't know blindness had a look.

Jennie Bovard:
No, it doesn't.

Brenda Anderson:
Okay, thank you.

Jennie Bovard:
It doesn't.

Brenda Anderson:
Thank you.

Jennie Bovard:
I'm not sure-

Brenda Anderson:
You see more than me. You'll be able to figure this one out. I just keep asking him, I'm not able to roll with my head like Stevie Wonder. Sorry.

Jennie Bovard:
Apparently, he can see a little bit too, and he's been accused of faking it, but let's not go down that road because...

Brenda Anderson:
No, I mean blessed or curse for people who look at me, they believe I can see a whole lot more until I ask them for the keys to their car and they change their mind. No, Jenny, I have never driven, with the exceptions of a jet ski in the middle of the Caribbean Ocean.

Jennie Bovard:
Oh, okay. That I have to do, that I have to do.

Brenda Anderson:
It's fabulous.

Jennie Bovard:
Did you do it alone? Did you have a guide? Did you have someone shouting instructions in your ear? How did you make it work?

Brenda Anderson:
My son had his own jet ski. He was living there at the time, and I would simply listen for the sound of his motor and that's how I went. And at times I passed him and just kept going and going until he passed me again and told me to go back.

Jennie Bovard:
You mentioned Covid earlier. That was a really difficult time for me. Like you, I'm someone who needs to get out and get social and see people and it was affecting my ability to go to the gym and go out in nature. And I remember, I think it was the second winter of Covid, we had a snowstorm and I always loved shovelling. Just like the act of having the satisfaction of that work being done and being able to enjoy the work that you've done and see a result. I took my shovel that day in the middle of Covid and I shovelled my whole entire property, my driveway, my front steps, my back steps, all that stuff, the sidewalk in front of my house, sidewalk in front of my neighbour's house. And Brenda, I just kept going. I just went down the whole block.
I shovelled the whole sidewalk, like some manic machine. I do not know what was on my mind, but I just kept going. I just had to move. And then I stopped at the end of my block and I thought, I wonder what my neighbours think. I wonder if they're peeking out their curtain saying, I wonder if that blind lady knows that she's shovelling the entire block and she's not in front of her house anymore because it is a lot more difficult for me to see in the snow as well, but no one told me. So they're going to take the free labour anyway.

Brenda Anderson:
Jenny, I'm like you. I really enjoy shovelling. My driveway can hold up to eight cars. So after my back patio is completed, side of my home and my driveway, I usually wander over to 1, 2, 3 or 4 of my different neighbours in my cul-de-sac. And I'm sure they're thinking she's got some issues. Who wants to shovel? But the days that I shovel, the days that I don't bother taking the time to take a bus to go into the gym, I figure after two and three hours of shovelling my workout is done. But I feel great because like you, I see the fruits of my labour. If the driveways are open and you can pull your car in, it's nice and clean, you're good, and then you sit in the house and watch the snowplow go by and block you in, then you want to go outside and have words with that snowplow operator. You've just spent three hours opening all of them driveways and he just blocked them in.

Jennie Bovard:
Oh my goodness. Again, a good shovel. So good for the soul. Such a good workout. We agree on so many things and I feel smarter and wiser just having spent this time with you.

Brenda Anderson:
Jenny, I have to ask you, what about shopping?

Jennie Bovard:
Don't get me started on shopping. I despise shopping unless I know exactly what I want and where it is. I don't know how people enjoy shopping. I can't browse. Christmas shopping, I'm dreading that right now because I hear from other people, they're out, oh, I saw this for you out at the store when I was just out looking for something else. We have to be so intentional when we're visually impaired or blind, and I hope that my family and friends acknowledge that I have to be super intentional when I pick out a gift for you. I do like online shopping. It makes things a lot more accessible for me. I can browse easier and I can get that stuff delivered to my door and not have to take all the time to plan all the routes in that.

Brenda Anderson:
I go into the stores and I'm asking for something. I have my seeing-eye dog with me. I don't know how else to identify myself as not seeing well, but I'll only have a clerk. I'm not going to name the stores. Say, oh, it's over there. So for example, I walked into the local liquor, well, no, it wasn't local. I walked into a liquor store, an SLC, probably two years ago now. And I was standing in a line and the person ahead of me said, you can go. And I said, go where? Well, the clerk is waiting for you. Now there are two people working on cash, one to the right, one to the left. And again, he says, you can go, oh, he's standing behind me. That's where he's at. And I said, sir, can you tell me where I need to go? He said, you need to go to the cash. And I said, am I going right or am I going left? Is it that hard?

Jennie Bovard:
Then it becomes that game of 20 questions. Yes.

Brenda Anderson:
But all he kept saying was, you can go now. Go where? Because I'm not able to see there's somebody not standing at the cash or like you said with Covid, they're behind the plexiglass. They have their mask on. I'm not able to see that they're gesturing me to do something and I can't hear through their mask that they're gesturing me to do something and I'm thinking, I'm never going out of my house again. I can't deal with this no more. I'm thinking, pull down your mask. You're behind the plexiglass. Tell me what you're saying to me. Do you want my cash? Are you asking me if I want something else? Are you asking me if I want to donate to somebody? This is all great, but I can't hear you and I can't see your gesture, so please help me. Or I'm just going to leave.

Jennie Bovard:
I think in a perfect world, any workplace, anywhere where you can go and be a customer, there should have been some kind of accessibility training. You need to understand how to serve the population, the people who want to spend money at your business, you need to understand how to serve them and give good instructions. If someone working at a cash notices, oh, there's a person with a service dog there, it might be a service dog, maybe I should just say, hi, I'm over here to your right. Take a few steps ahead so I can serve you. It is not complicated, but the awareness isn't there because society doesn't feel that it's important. And that's part of why we have these conversations and why we have this podcast is to just bring to light all this nonsense that is so, I shouldn't say it's easily fixed, but it is fixable with education and training and awareness and then the person standing in line, maybe they worked somewhere where they some training and that's great too, but you don't have to rely on them saying, "Can you go? It's time for you to go."
I mean you mentioned earlier about what does blindness or visual impairment look like? And again, with COVID-19, they took away our shopping baskets at a lot of our local grocery stores and I went up to a customer service person and was trying to ask, are these baskets ever coming back? Because you don't want me driving a shopping cart. Generally speaking, it's not a good idea. And I'm walking, so I'm not filling up a whole shopping cart anyway. So I tried to have this conversation with a customer service person. She was perhaps a little bit younger than I was. Age is not important here. Training is what's important. You work in customer service. And so I was explaining that the reason this is in accessibility issue is because I'm visually impaired and blah, blah, blah. And she stops me when I say visually impaired.
And she says, but you're so pretty. And I was like, wow, gobsmacked. I am usually pretty good at having a response, but I was so gobsmacked I couldn't even, she just whoosh over her head, missed the point completely. And I had to take a deep breath and walk away because I was probably going to lose it a little bit and nobody needed that that day. But it's all about awareness and we're all around you. I say this all the time, we're just living our lives. You don't know who's visually impaired or who has a different disability.

Brenda Anderson:
Especially with those of us, my eye condition is extremely rare. I have met two people in 48 years with this eye condition, and if you stand all three of us side by side, you could not tell which one of us is visually impaired unless for me it's the end of the day. And I've looked at my phone, my iPad way too much and my eye is starting to turn.

Jennie Bovard:
Yeah, no, and in all seriousness, you are just bang on and I can't thank you enough for coming and chatting and having this great conversation with me today, Brenda. Is there anything else that you want to share or chat about before we wrap it up?

Brenda Anderson:
Not really, Jennie. Like I keep saying to you, and I've said to others that I've met that live with vision loss or are completely blind, you have four other senses. You have your hearing, you have your taste, you have your touch, you have your smell. Keep living. Live every day. I know I'm in the process now of probably losing more vision. So when there's an opportunity that comes my way, that comes knocking to try something, to do something, I'm doing it. I'm trying it within reason. There's some activities IE skydiving that I just don't have on my bucket list. Go figure. But I'm no longer putting things off. I'm no longer saying I'm going to try that some other time.
If the opportunity comes my way and I want to try something because you know what? I want to do it while I still have a little bit of vision to see what I'm doing. I'm sure there'll be things I'm doing once I lose my vision, but in the meantime, live today, tomorrow's not guaranteed. So I know you're like that as well. You do everything you can when you get that opportunity. Don't ever lose that aspect of yourself because you know what? You only have one life. Live it.

Jennie Bovard:
I have one more question and that was so beautifully put, but I have one more question before we go.

Brenda Anderson:
Okay.

Jennie Bovard:
Will you be my unofficial grandmother?

Brenda Anderson:
Absolutely.

Jennie Bovard:
Please?

Brenda Anderson:
You don't have a grandma?

Jennie Bovard:
She's passed away.

Brenda Anderson:
Okay. I could be your grandma.

Jennie Bovard:
Excellent. Well, I can't thank you enough for your time and coming on today, and I'm going to, spoiler alert here. She's sitting on the floor for us today, folks, so it's been a bit of a process to get you on and I am so glad that you went through that process and that you're here with me today to share your wisdom.

Brenda Anderson:
Well, we definitely got to catch up for beverages so we can share a few things that we probably shouldn't speak about on the podcast.

Jennie Bovard:
Nothing is off limits, so maybe you just have to come back, but we'll vet those over a beer for sure.

Brenda Anderson:
Sounds good, Jenny, have a beautiful afternoon.

Jennie Bovard:
Thank you so, so much for listening and for watching. My unofficial grandmother Brenda and I would like to know, are you aging like a fine cheese as well? Share your funny low vision or blind moments with us about getting older and get in touch by adding a comment on YouTube or send an email to podcasts@aami.ca. Or you can even give us a call at 1-866-509-4545. Once more the number is 1-866-509-4545. Make sure to mention low vision moments if you leave a message there, please and thank you. You can come and follow me on Instagram and TikTok if that is your thing. I am there under UberBlonde4, that's U-B-E-R-B-L-O-N-D-E and the number four, the following wise men make this podcast possible. Mark Aflalo is our technical producer, Ryan Delehanty is the podcast coordinator, and manager at AMI Audio is Andy Frank. Until next time, my friends, I would like to know who is taking me out on a jet ski because I'm ready.